What is Realistic?

It’s a pretty crazy concept and premise to think of reality. Often so much of what we know, we may really not know, and thus the other way around as well. So many of the things that we believe, we can modify, adjust, and step-around when necessary.

I decided to try and take up Unreal Engine 5. In the span of a week I was able to learn how to create a scene, modify the landscape, and even set up a basic camera rig. I learned first-hand the absolute tedium and meticulousness that it takes to do things like this.

First and foremost, mad props and recognition to game developers. The gig is not an easy one. The market is saturated. Tropes, overused. It’s a truly cut-throat market that big money and industry has their interests set on.

My own niche appears to be somewhat filled as well… at least to a point. I’m truly trying to pivot and carve a spot into the DND and RPG spectrum. Maybe my content isn’t appropriate yet. Maybe folks don’t want to worry about a copyright mark in a video due to using the music I create and release. I’m conflicted.

With advertising, the YouTube channel grows substantially. However, when I don’t, it starts to dwindle. I imagine that’s how this process goes. A growth and a shrink. Much like the tide and other patterns in life, in and out.

Despite what I think I know to be realistic, life continually finds a way of showing me that it is simply not the case. Realistic is no such more a word than any other; subject to interpretation and context. I don’t know what’s realistic in the face of many things any more. The boundaries and limits keep stretching into an eternal fathom of infinite proportions. Everything being so relative to its’ context and intention.

I’ve got plans to keep working on my Warhammer album, of which has taken the most absolute back-seat to any of my content I’ve seen so far. Outside of maybe Electric Forest. Which took the backseat to college. And then a child. But I think those are appropriate things to place something in the back seat for.

In this case, I’ve continued onward with the beautiful wife through thick and thin, care for two children, work a full time job, and then continually try to take time out of my evenings and weekends to work even more on content for imaginary places. I’ve got to be crazy.

It hurts so good to produce content. However, at the ripe age of 31, I’ve come to learn that time slips so much quicker than I ever imagined it would. Especially with all of the above in effect. This is ever before we count the potential 3 nights per week of DND that I attempt to plan and contingency for. Like. Man.

What even is realistic for me anymore? How far do I go into this madness before figuring out some way of being profitable with it? I shall keep expanding and re-defining as many times as it takes for me to find an appropriate and profitable niche. For the sanity and hope of everybody’s future.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this mind-vomit. It was especially chaotic tonight. Here’s to new and more content with the excitement of it all in the midst.

Goodnight.