Progress

Slowly, but surely, is the phrase. I’ve started to slowly find a way out of this stagnation into recognition that some things take time. Quite a bit of time. Time to figure out this brand. Time to figure out my niche. Time to improve upon the art of which I create. Time to allow myself time.

It’s not an easy gig, trying to advertise and create ideas on your own. So often, the public and masses at-large, don’t interact with much outside of their normal scope. The normal flavors they’re used to, is all that they’ll aim to see again. My music isn’t that typical flavor. My brand and niche aren’t the typical ideals. They’re definitely a bit different. Maybe they’re just not nearly as good as I think they are. Or maybe folks just aren’t ready for this sort of thing.

I’ve always been a fan of instrumental music. From EDM, classical, and everything in-between (I see you Jazz), I’m just absolutely drawn to how individuals can speak through music. It’s mind blowing. A colleague and friend of mine, Ben Grier, always coins the phrase “Music as a language.” and I’m always inclined to agree.

I’m attempting to speak to an audience with my music. I’m attempting to grow a fanbase such that there is demand for the music I produce. I’m throwing everything that I’ve known up to this point into things that are on social media sites such as YouTube, Twitter (X?), Facebook, and more. I find myself not gaining any traction or feeling like I’m making progress. At least, not in the eyes of my fans or followers.

However, I do notice that the music I’m producing is becoming more robust with each release. I’m finding myself taking more time and more space to fully flesh out ideas that normally I’d be trying to rush out. I’m finding out that the more time and effort I put into the song, the more nervous and sensitive I am about actually releasing it. However, when it does finally release, the sense of accomplishment when it just gets a few more views than anything else.

This isn’t an endeavor that’s going to happen overnight. It’s a labor of love that I will most likely spend the rest of my life attempting to perfect, grow, and endeavor with. To make it the best that it can be. To hold myself to the standards and goals that I know I’m capable of. To play this musical game with myself of “now what?”, and to not be discouraged about that question.

I’m incredibly thankful to wake up every day. I’m even more thankful that with the time I get outside of work, I’ve got a family who enables and encourages my music. I’ve got friends who absolutely build me up past anything I’d ever give myself in terms of encouragement. I’ve got children who are now growing a love for music and arts of their own. And I’m finally able to encourage that.

I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world for things to take time. To take effort. To take long periods of extended intent, action, and commitment to. I’ve told myself many times — nothing good comes easy. And if it does, you probably won’t want it for long. It’s the things that you’re invested in for the long-run that really come to fruition that is gratifying.

Working my way out of short-term gratification and starting to grow myself into the longer term goals and ideals has been absolutely soul-crushing. I’ve never done something more difficult than to re-wire my familial karmic actions in that of which I’ve participated in with myself. All of the things that I still see them struggle with, as an empath, I struggle with as well. I try to put those struggles and ideals on myself to take hold of and responsibility for. However, as other family I know would say, “That’s a them problem.”

I’m aiming to love my present moment more. I’m aiming to put more intention into the limited amount of time and money that I do have. I’m aiming to create a brand and a collection of music that will sustain me and my family for a lifetime. These are not things that will happen instantaneously. These are not things that will happen overnight. Hell, these things are not things that will happen over the course of weeks or even months. These are things that will take years to understand and to cultivate.

And for that, I’m thankful.